Cakes and dogs

I still can't believe that someone sued a bakery over not making a cake for them. When I was planning my wedding,  I asked each business I needed to hire if they were ok with doing a gay wedding--from the venue to the DJ. I had no agenda.  I just wanted to hire a business that wanted to work with me. I would never dream of suing someone for not being comfortable doing business with me or my wife. There are plenty of companies that want my money.
These activists were looking for a case. That's all there is to it.
And before folks get on a tangent about the problems with legal discrimination,  just remember that your beliefs can be challenged at any time. I own a small business and refuse to do business with people who don't spay or neuter their animals.  I suppose someone could get a bee in their bonnet and sue me for discrimination.  Justice Kagan asked the baker why, if he couldn't make cakes for gay weddings,  didn't he just stop making wedding cakes altogether. I could see a short sighted activist judge asking me why, if I can't sit for unaltered pets, I don't just stop sitting altogether.  Well,  for the same reason that baker doesn't want to stop making wedding cakes. It's the way I make a living.  It's what I am good at and passionate about.
I hope that little bakery wins their case. I wouldn't do business with them (I have my beliefs too), but I don't want them to fail because of their beliefs.

Does Pride in One's Heritage Even Make Sense?

Any honest discussion about pride probably should contain the definition of the word. According to Google, pride is

A feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.

So, based on that definition,  does it really make sense to be proud of your skin color or ethnic heritage? What about sexual orientation? If pride results from one's accomplishments,  then no. Your skin color, ethnic background,  and sexual orientation are a result of the biological lottery. You, dear reader, had nothing to do with that. Neither did I.

Now, I get the whole premise of pride. I am gay. And like any member of a so-called marginalized group,  I understand that pride was born out of the deep shame and other trauma inflicted on folks like me. But, I think the notion of pride is flawed. A better concept would be to celebrate. As in, I celebrate the struggles and accomplishments of the gay community.  I celebrate the people,  art, even stereotypes of gay people.  I have a sense of humor and absolutely laugh at ongoing jokes about gay people: that gay men have a great sense of style, or that lesbians like cats (in my case, that's true).

I also celebrate my southern heritage.  I love the south,  some of the traditions and tendencies,  the food, the landscape. I love southern literature.  I love southern TV shows,  even  (perhaps especially) the ones that parody our stereotypes.  I take the good and leave behind the bad. That's called progress. 

But am I ever proud? Not really. I am proud of particular accomplishments,  but in general,  I celebrate my culture and heritage.  And there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone should be given the freedom to celebrate who they are. To celebrate their history,  and to celebrate where they are going. To do those things without opposition or even guilt.  

So what happened in Charlottesville yesterday came as no surprise to me. To be sure, I am not a supremacist of any kind. I won't claim to know the hearts of individuals on either side. But I see a trend that is dangerous: everyone is encouraged to engage in self pride (again, I think that's a mistake), self love, and pride in one's ethnic heritage.  All groups except one. And consistently denying that group the freedom to celebrate who they are and where they came from, even denying them the opportunity to take the good and leave the bad from their cultural past, creates a dangerous situation.  It causes them to fear and even to hate, and that is dangerous for them, and even more so for the rest of us.